The Batman Episode 1.01: The Bat in the Belfry/Transcript

this is the Transcript for The Bat in the Belfry.

Transcript
Thorn: (Heavy Breathing) He’s here…

Thug 1: Where, Mr Thorn?

Thorn: (Heavy Breathing) HUH? (gasps)

Batman’s Cape rustles in the shadows

Thorn: There! I I I saw him!

Clink of the Batarang

Thug 1: Wha…What’s that?

Thug 1Loads his gun and a batarang flies out and knocks gun from Thug 1

Thug 1: Ahh!

Batarang comes back to Batman

Thorn: Take him!

Thug 1: Ah! Ahhhhhh!!!!

Thug 2: Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Thug 1 and 2: grunting from fighting the Batman/grunt from the impact of the floor

Thorn: (Neverously) Okay…uhhh, We split the take 30, 70. Uh! (gasps) 50, 50… (ahh)!!!

Thorn: grunts from jumping on rooftops. Grunts from jumping off a rooftop and grunts from the impact of Batman catching him

Thorn: Whao…How you do that?

Batman: I’m the Batman

Batman jumps in Batmobile and Buckles his seat beat Reves up the car and drives through gotham

Alfred: Surprise.

Bruce: I’m touched Alfred. But, my birthday is not until October.

Alfred: Its an aniversery, Master Bruce. 3 years ago, tonight, you first dawned cape and cowl.

Bruce: Crime flies.

Alfred: Chop Chop. Make a wish.

Bruce: I wish…I wish…

Alfred: I wish they were here too. Very much so.

Bruce: To the memory of Thomas and Martha Wayne. (blows out candles) The reason I became the Batman.

Reporter: Chief Rojas, Can you verify rumors that it was the Batman that apprehended crime boss, Rubert Thorn and his gang last night?

Chief Rojas: Do you know of anyone who actually seen this Batman?

Reporter: I uhh…

Chief Rojas: Because he’s what’s called an “Urban Legend”.

Alfred: Why that cheeky…(bruce looks at Alfred) …brand flakes sir.

Bruce: Easy Alfred. The Batman is right where he likes, hovering below the radar.

Alfred: You’re not the one to bask in glory, Master Bruce.

Reporter: Well there you have it. In only 3 years time, our crime rate has plummeted to a nationwide low. Thanks to Gotham’s finest. Back to you, Jim.

Reporter Jim: Next up, Billionare Bruce Wayne contributes an unprecedented sum to Gotham Children’s Hospital. And in Sports, Gators kick off a new season with tonight’s home game.

Tv switches off

Alfred: Which billionare Bruce Wayne will be there to enjoy. Your season tickets, sir.

Grabs tickets

Bruce: Ohh, ttonight? Aw, but I had…

Alfred: Work to do in the BatCave? For the Batman to remain under the radar, Bruce Wayne must occasionally venture above it.

Ethan Bennet: (sighs)

Chief Rohas: Get anything on our vigilante this time, Bennet?

Ethan Bennet: Besides the fact that he Bat wrapped Thorn’s butt for us?

Chief Rohas: Well, it’s up to you and your partner to see to it that this urban legend doesn’t become a folk hero.

Ethan Bennet: Partner? Since when?

Chief Rojas: Since I decided two heads are better then one. Detective Ethan Bennet, meet detective Ellen Yin; formerly at Metropolis PD. Their loss.

Ellen Yin: Howdy, partner.

Ethan Bennet: Welcome to Gotham.

Chief Rojas: Now that you two acquainted. Bring me this Batman; who ever he is.

Alfred: (coughs)

Bruce: I know Alfred, time for swinging bachelor Bruce Wayne to put on the party hat.

Alfred: Rest assured Master Bruce, you’re never far from the bat cave, with the modern miracle of the Bat Wave.

Arkam Asylum Guard: Steiner, check. Mcswang, check. 223…vacant. Hey…No body logged any new arrivals. Woah, what are you doing here? What the…?

The Joker: I was feeling a bit screw loose, so I, checked myself in.

Arkam Asylum Guard: Wh-who are you?

The Joker: My Card…(maniacal laughter)

Arkam Asylum Guard: No nooo nooooo!!!

The Joker: (more maniacal laughter echoing )

Ethan Bennet: Let me tell you something, old Bats never leaves a trace. No prints. No follicles. No match on tire tracks.

Detective Yin: Custom Jobs.

Ethan Bennet: Dude has resources.

Detective Yin: And a knack for showing up where crime is and police aren’t.

Ethan Bennet: I never laid eyes on him.

Detective Yin: Just in, an unknown perp released all patients from the east wing of Arkham Asylum.

Ethan Bennet: What?!? That’s crazy!

Detective Yin: Crazy enough to lure a Bat?

Bruce: You know, I once toyed with the idea of buying the Gators. Buying them lunch.

Girl 1: Oh mister Wanye…

Bruce: Oh, pardon me ladies. Arkham?

TV Sports Commentator: And among Gotham notables, we welcome the young CEO of Wanye Industries’, Bruce….Wanye.. Uh…Grabbing a Gator dog, no doubt.

Alfred: No doubt.

Bruce: Gotta work on though stops.

Cop 1: Whoa!

Cop 2: What the...? Ahhh ahhh!

Batman: That was theatrical.

Joker: Laughing echoing in the background of arkham asylum.

Joker: Takes after his Pa wouldn’t you say?

Batman: What did you do to him?

Joker: Just some laughing gas, drag. Don’t tell me you’re… not an inmate? What rational being dresses like you? And speaking of threads, think that this is a good look for me?

Batman: Who are you? Joker: Joker.

Batman: Not what, Who?

Joker: (grumbles from his face being rubbed by Batman) Smear free. It’s perma-clown! Ohh, tough crowd. Look! Nothing up my sleeves! (chuckles) Nothing that won’t put a smile on your face. Say cheese! (laughes) I’m out of gas…

Batman: And I am out of patience!

Joker: (grunts from the punch) We know how to spoil a coming out party. How do you expect me to spread mirth and whimsy without a proper hideout?!?

Batman: Listen Joker, you’re sick. You need help.

Joker: Well, maybe I am a little off. (grunts from the jump and kick)

Batman: (grunts from the impact and falls)

Joker: But, what are you going to do? Lock me in the loony bin? I’m already here!

Bennet: Situation report.

Cop 1: We are rounding up patients and waiting for the choppers to take us over.

Yin: Like we’ll get any dryer? (grunts from the jump in the water) (sighs from coming up for air)

Bennet: New partner. Triathlon wiz.

Joker: (breathing heavily while speaking due to fighting batman) You know, I really love this place. My old hideout a shambles, and these digs just scream me! (panting) Okay…Take back the asylum, but mark my words: this town has happy days ahead! (laughing manically)

Batman: (grunts due to stopping the crank)

Joker: (recording from the jack in the box) Smile Gotham!

Batman: (sigh)

Yin and Bennet Sigh from coming out of the river bank

Yin: Well, better split up.

Bennet: (gasp from seeing batman) You have the right to remain slient!

Yin: Bennet, stop the perp?

Bennet: The Bat…

Alfred: Sir? A stranger in the bat cave?

Batman: Tonight, we’ll make an exception.

Alfred: Oh my… Chap could use a dentist.

Batman: Or a medic.

Alfred: Right then.

Reporter Jim (on radio) : Chief Rojas, any suspects yet on this bizarre Jack in the Box hostage incident?

Chief Rojas: I’m not at liberty to reveal whom. But, I feel confident our best detectives are closing in on them as we speak.

Alfred: And Gotham Gator fan Bruce Wayne with nearly an alibi.

Bruce: How’s our patient?

Alfred: Despite the ghastly grimace, fit as a fiddle. Poor fellow is simply a prisoner in his own body.

Bruce: A sample of Joker’s Gas is our only hope of deriving an antidote. And I need to find it, before this madman puts a permanent smile on all of Gotham.

(flash back)

Joker: Smile Gotham! My old hideout a shambles.

Bruce: If I find the old hideout, I find this Joker.

Alfred: Master Bruce, someone to see you.

Bruce: Uh, who is it Alfred?

Alfred: The police.

Bruce: Detective, a am I under arrest?

Bennet: Yo Bruce!

Bruce: Hey Hey! Ethan!

Bennet: Where’d you been my friend?

Alfred: Master Bruce was at the game last night.

Bennet: Speaking of, thought we were on set to shoot some hoops last week.

Bruce: Ah.. I have been buried Ethan; 24/7.

Bruce: So, why the sudden visit?

Bennet: Just (sigh), I needed to talk to someone. Other then the guys at the station I mean. This is going to sound weird Bruce, but last night, I saw the Batman.

Alfred: Only a Ming.

Bruce: So, he’s for real? What’s he look like?

Bennet: Dude like you or me. Cept he wears Bat jammas. (chuckles) Tough part’s this Bruce, I really believe the Bats helping Gotham. Even if he is on the wrong side of the law, but he is getting a bad rap and the heat’s on me to take him down.

Batman: Look’s like a clown hideout.

Joker: Stop me if you heard this one before, Batman: There were these two fellows in an abandoned party favor factory. The one says to the other….

Batman: Where are you keeping the gas, Joker?

Joker: You call that a punch line?

Batman: I don’t share your sense of humor.

Joker: Yet were linked, you and I, like comedy and tragedy. Two sides. Same coin.

Batman: The gas Joker! Or I vow I will turn your smile upside down.

Joker: If its gas you want… Eh he he he…Ha Ha! Place all tray tables in their up right positions! (joker laughs maniacally)

Bystander 1: Gasp!

Bystander 2: What is that? Looks like a ballon!

Joker: Smiles people! Smile!

Batman: The balloon is filled with Joker Gas. And he is going to pop it, over Gotham.

Bennet: A balloon down town, this time of year? That’s…

Yin: Crazy? I’ll drive.

Joker: (manically laughing) If you’re loving me, wait to you’ll get a load of my pop! (more maniacal laughter)

(grunting from batman hitting joker and joker grunting from impact)

Batman: Stop this thing Joker!

Joker: With what breaks?

Yin: It’s the Batman. And he’s pummeling a clown.

(batman kick’s joker with a grunt and the joker screams out in pain)

Bennet: The Jake in the Box, Yin. What if clownie’s the one behind the arkham incident?

Yin: Explain the missing orderly.

Bennet: Maybe Bats take him cause…uh I don’t know. Uh… The guy needed help or something.

Yin: Fair enough. We’re chasing two perps: One’s a criminal. The other is still a vigilante.

Batman: (grunting)

Joker: Watch your pinkies! Ahhh!

Batman: (Grunting from pulling the ballon)

Yin: East. Gotham Bay.

Joker: (growls) You have made me one sad clown! Hmm? Where’d you go?

Batman: Knock, knock!

Joker: Whoops! There? (grunts from the kick) Whoa whoa!

Joker: Whoa! (Growls)

Joker: My precious gas! Passed! By a party pooper.

Batman: I had a different punch line in mind…

Yin: Well, we can take the clown in.

Bennet: I know you love to swim.

Batman: Alfred, move our house guest out of the Bat Cave and Prep the lab. I have an antidote to whip up.

Arkham Asylum Guard: Steiner.. Check. Mcswang…Check. 223…New Arrival…Check.

Joker: They all said I was sick in the head. They said, “I needed help.” Well, maybe I am a bit batty. Blame it on the Bats in my Belfry. (Joker Trademark laugh)